10 Reasons Why ‘The Donald’, I Am Not!

greatest real estate investorBeing the small time real estate investor I am, I have to admit, one of the people I find rather interesting in the investing business is the one and only, Donald Trump.   Ok, I’ll admit it, I’m a fan of Mr. Trump, his real estate acumen and competitive spirit is out of this world and from the many stories I have heard, he has a very giving heart.  Because of his outspoken nature, most of which the mainstream media finds appalling, he gets a bad wrap.  As a result of his perpetual media donnybrook, his good deeds often get lost in translation.  I get the impression though, his lack of media recognition only makes him more passionate about his cause.  I admire his independent, creative, unwavering thought process.

For all the accolades I offer ‘The Donald’, I thought it would be a hoot to compare my personality and investing prowess to the ‘greatest real estate investor’ of all time.  So without further adieu, here is a countdown of the top 10 reasons why Donald Trump, I AM NOT!


I think we can all agree, even if you despise his lifestyle and political views, ‘The Donald’ is an exceptional business leader.  He has made billions in real estate, has built some of the most majestic golf courses in the world and just seems to have a knack for making money.  While my aspirations are not Donald’s, I share the same desire as him to run a successful real estate business, just on a smaller scale.  So, number 10 would be, his real estate portfolio ‘cash flows’; mine…Not so much.


The ‘Donald’ owns the Miss Universe, Miss USA and Miss Teen USA pageants, which the Trump Organization said are collectively worth a total of $15 million.  In addition, he owns a talent and modeling agency, Trump Model Management, and 50 percent of the value of the rights to “The Apprentice.  I on the other hand own a 2009 Ford F-150, but hey it’s free and clear!!


He has the ability to avoid getting attached to his real estate.  I struggle with disconnecting myself from my properties.  It’s as if its my properties are a show of art, I like fixing em up, often to the point of going overboard.  I can’t help it, its my HGTV influence.  I justify it a couple of ways.  First, this is not the way I make my living, after all, I’m a W2 employee.  I will spend a little to fix them up, knowing that the tax savings and value added will be my payback.  Secondly, I have no desire to be a slumlord, I am very thorough with my tenant selection and  will take a loss before I put a ‘unqualified’ tenant in one of my properties.


‘The Donald’ and I are both one of 5 children, so we do have that in common.  I am the second oldest and he is the second youngest of his brood. He was a star athlete, a star student and student leader, I was a star…wallflower.


‘The Donald’ is brash, unapologetic, confident, and monumentally egotistical.  Not saying I disagree with these traits, they have made him the success he is, but that’s just not me.  I on the other hand am reserved, gregarious, a great connector, and generally want to be friends with everyone I meet.  Maybe that’s why I don’t excel at being a landlord?


Trump has a penchant for standing out and hob-knobbing with celebrities.  His “your fired’ catchphrase has created a goldmine for Trump, earning him a reported $3,000,000 per episode on the Apprentice.  His ‘5th Avenue’ lifestyle has enabled him to rub elbows with wealthy celebrities, politicians and world leaders.  Me, well I’m a small-town country boy, I dig the slow pace, bible thumping crowd.  I have zero intention of ever living in New York City, and an even less desire to run around with celebrities and politicians.


Trump has political aspirations.  His name has been repeatedly associated with various political parties, movements and ideologies.  He is even considering a run for Governor of New York.  He is the king of pragmatism, never really admitting which party he truly aligns with.  I too, am politically active but I have little desire to run for formal office.  I would rather support a grass roots movement which follows the principals laid out by the Founding Fathers, I am a socially and fiscally conservative….Libertarian!


Trump was profoundly influenced by his father, who himself was in the real estate business.  My father took a more hands off approach to child rearing, so much of my parental influence came from my mother.


I am not versed in the world of Alimony payments!  The Donald on the other hand must have a considerable war chest to tend to the lifestyles of Marla Maples and Ivana Trump.   I have had the good fortune to be married to Mrs. Critfin for nearly 10 blessed years, and hope it to be many more.


donald trump hairpieceThe ‘Donald’s’ Infamous Hair!   His unique “Flock of Seagulls” look adds to his notoriety and gives his critics a little more fodder in which to make themselves feel good.  I, on the other hand am blessed with a rather thick and full head of hair, even at the ripe ole age of 43, plus its all natural!  My locks require no hairspray or comb-over efforts, and unlike ‘The Donald’, my hair has never been questioned for its authenticity.

So, it appears ‘The Donald’ and I have very little in common, except perhaps the desire to be a real estate investor.  I hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little bit better!

Thank you to Grayson at debtoundup.com for including my article in his carnival this past week.

Other great reads from around the net:

Thousandiare.com-Should we pay teachers like babysitters?

Studentloansherpa.com-Mike Rowe calls push to attend college worst advice in the history of the world.

Tiethemoneyknot.com-Why is being an involved parent noteworthy?

Luke1428.com-If you do anything in 2014, please consider receiving this gift.

Stepawayfromthemall.com-Don’t quit your day job yet.

Moneysmartguides.com-You are your greatest asset.

Breathofoptimism.com-Making resolutions that last.

20sfinances.com-Free trustworthy resources for investors.

Dinksfinance.com-Do you have a backup plan for life?

Onesmartdollar.com-Why failing isn’t such a bad thing.

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  1. Say what you will about Trump, that guy knows what he’s doing.. or at least is able to talk about what he’s doing enough to convince others to that he knows what he’s doing.

  2. And then there are his multiple bankruptcies. Though I suppose that just shows he has a savvy appreciation for what bankruptcy is intended to do: to encourage entrepreneurs to take risks, since debt can be forgiven.

  3. I love this! I find myself being attracted to “The Donald” as well. I can sympathize with your #8…I enjoy my properties. Sometimes I think I might want to sell one but then remember all the effort I’ve put into fixing it up. It’s tough to let go of something that you helped build and has been profitable.

  4. I just went through an investment property purge. My wife and I each owned rental property, but we sold it out over the last 12 months or so and bought a family home. So far so good. I’ll eventually get back into real estate investment… if only I could grow an orange squirrel on my head like the Donald. Maybe that’s his secret…

    And thanks for the shout out!

    • Jim says:

      Yea, that does sort of resemble an orange squirrel, too funny! Hopefully you guys did pretty well on the sale of your rental property, both from a profi and a tax perspective.

  5. LOL, love this, Jim, and huge ditto for me (well, except for the “boy” part) on number 5. Yay for the small town country life. 🙂

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